Grit, Gratitude, & Grace Newsletter

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1 Insight From Me

April 2024. The church meal train started. People signed up. A schedule was made. Meals arrived daily—meal that aligned with our plant-based diet.

It felt miraculous.

By May, I realized: This can't last forever.

The people giving meals have their own lives. Their own crises. Their own needs. At some point, the meal train ends. People naturally move on. The community does what it can, then returns to normal.

And when it ends, you can't fall apart.

That's when I learned: Real support isn't what lasts during the crisis. It's what you build so that when the temporary support ends, you still have structure.

So in May, while the meal train was still running, I did something counterintuitive: I started rebuilding my own capacity.

I learned to cook simple plant-based meals efficiently. Not gourmet. Just nutrient-dense, quick, repeatable.

I built a rotating list of go-to meals: vegan grain bowls, vegan Korean dishes, and a variety of different salads. Meals I could make in 20 minutes.

I researched plant-based nutrition so deeply that I could prepare meals for Florena's specific needs during treatment—something no casserole could do.

I rebuilt relationships that weren't about crisis. Relationships with friends about things other than survival. Because crisis friendships are real, but they can't be your only friendships.

I established rhythms that didn't depend on outside help: morning routine, weekly review, spiritual practice, creative work.

When the meal train wound down, we didn't fall apart because we'd spent the month of May building infrastructure that didn't depend on it.

This is what I see most people get wrong about crisis support.

They receive help gratefully (good). They let the help carry them entirely (dangerous). Then when help ends, they collapse because they never rebuilt their own capacity.

Real resilience isn't getting support. It's building yourself strong enough that support becomes optional, not essential.

2 Quotes

"Connection is why we're here; it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The power that connection holds in our lives was confirmed by a landmark Harvard study." - Brené Brown

II.

"There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death." - Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)

1 Challenge

The Support Audit

This week, identify your current support structures:

Temporary supports (What ends when crisis ends? Meal trains, temporary help, crisis friends)
Permanent structures (What survives crisis? Your practices, your skills, your deeper relationships)

Then build ONE permanent structure this week:

Skill you need to rebuild
Relationship that exists beyond crisis
Practice that doesn't depend on outside help
Capacity you're outsourcing that you could build

Don't wait for crisis to end. Build while the temporary help is still running.

Remember: Feed your mind. Fuel your actions. Find your fire. 🔥

Want more frameworks like this? My book Mindset Metamorphosis includes the complete system for building resilient support structures during and after crisis.