Have you ever failed at something so publicly that you wanted to disappear forever? If you're someone who's facing a setback that feels insurmountable—a job rejection, financial loss, health scare, or broken dream—this story will show you how to turn your most embarrassing failure into your greatest comeback.
At 7 years old, I learned the most important lesson of my life by failing spectacularly in front of everyone who mattered.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill
The Setup: When Dreams Meet Reality
I was 7, testing for my first black belt alongside my 10-year-old brother. My parents had invested months of time and money preparing us for this moment. The entire school was watching—other students, parents, instructors.
I had trained hard, or so I thought. I knew the techniques, could execute the kicks and punches. But there was one thing I hadn't mastered: the forms. These were precise sequences of movements that had to be performed from memory, flawlessly, under pressure.
When my name was called, I walked to the center of the mat with confidence. The whole room was silent, watching this little 7-year-old attempt something most adults never achieve.
The Failure: When Your Mind Goes Blank
Halfway through my first form, I froze. The sequence that I thought I knew vanished from my memory. I stood there, paralyzed, while everyone watched.
I tried to continue, making up movements, hoping no one would notice. But everyone could see—I was lost, stumbling through motions I didn't actually know.
The test ended. My brother passed. I didn't.
The humiliation was overwhelming. Not only had I failed, but I'd failed publicly, in front of my parents who had invested so much, in front of my older brother who succeeded where I couldn't.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." - James 1:2-3
The Choice: Quit or Comeback
That night, I wanted to quit. The embarrassment felt too heavy for a 7-year-old to carry. Why continue something I had failed at so publicly?
But my instructor gave me an option: I had two weeks to retake the test. Two weeks to learn what I should have learned in months. Two weeks to transform failure into success.
My parents could have said, "It's okay, you tried." My brother could have made me feel worse about not keeping up. But instead, they presented me with a choice: Would I let this failure define me, or would I let it refine me?
The Transformation: The 4-5 Hour Days
For the next two weeks, I trained 4-5 hours every single day. Not because anyone forced me, but because I had discovered something powerful: failure isn't the end of your story—it's the beginning of your comeback.
Every morning before school, I practiced forms. After school, more forms. Evenings, weekends—I was obsessed with getting it right. I wasn't just learning the movements; I was learning what it meant to push beyond what I thought was possible.
The Strategy: The Failure-to-Fire Comeback System
That experience at 7 became my blueprint for every comeback since—through our decade-long infertility struggle, my wife's cancer diagnosis, losing my job, and $60,000 in debt. Here's the system:
Step 1: Own the Failure Completely
- Don't make excuses or blame circumstances
- I failed because I wasn't prepared, period
- Ownership is the first step to empowerment
Step 2: Extract the Lesson
- What specifically went wrong and why?
- For me: I thought I knew the forms but I only knew pieces
- Identify the exact gap between where you are and where you need to be
Step 3: Create Obsessive Focus
- Choose one thing to master completely
- Remove all distractions and excuses
- 4-5 hours daily wasn't sustainable long-term, but it was necessary for the comeback
Step 4: Practice Under Pressure
- I didn't just practice alone—I performed for anyone who would watch
- Comebacks require you to perform when it matters
- Comfortable practice doesn't prepare you for pressure moments
The Victory: Two Weeks Later
When retesting day came, I was ready. Not just ready—I was over-prepared. I performed every form flawlessly, with a confidence I'd never had before.
But here's what I learned: the real victory wasn't passing the test—it was discovering that I could transform failure into fuel.
The Application: Adult Comebacks
As someone who has authored "Mindset Metamorphosis" during my wife's cancer treatment and completed 10 Spartan races including a 50K ultra, I can tell you that the same principle applies to every area of adult life.
When I was laid off a week after my wife's cancer diagnosis, I remembered that 7-year-old who turned two weeks into a transformation period. When we had no income for 10 months, I remembered that obsessive focus could overcome any gap.
The comeback formula hasn't changed: Own it. Learn from it. Focus obsessively. Practice under pressure.
Your Comeback Moment
Right now, you might be dealing with a failure that feels defining—a business that didn't work, a relationship that ended, a dream that was denied.
Here's what that 7-year-old taught me: your failure is not your finale—it's your preparation for your finest moment.
The question isn't whether you'll fail again (you will). The question is whether you'll use that failure as an excuse to quit or as fuel to come back stronger.
What failure are you currently facing, and what would obsessive focus look like for your comeback? This week, choose one specific thing you can master completely. Then practice it under pressure until it becomes second nature.
Reply and tell me about the comeback you're working on—your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.
When you're ready, here's how I can help you:
Purchase my book Mindset Metamorphosis
Remember: Feed your mind. Fuel your actions. Find your fire.
P.S. I don't have my first black belt anymore due to a house fire, but I have the memory that it wasn't easy to earn and I learned that comebacks are always more satisfying than first-time successes.
