Have you ever reached a point where quitting seemed like the logical choice? If you're someone facing a long-term struggle—a difficult marriage, persistent health issues, financial pressure that won't end—this story will show you the power of one simple word that changes everything.
Through a decade of infertility and every crisis that followed, my wife and I learned that some battles aren't won with strength—they're won with staying power.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:9
The Setup: When Dreams Keep Dying
For 10 years, my wife and I tried to have children. Month after month, hope would rise and then crash. Procedures failed. Treatments didn't work. Well-meaning people offered advice that felt like salt in the wound.
Every month brought the same devastating cycle: hope, disappointment, grief, and the tempting whisper that maybe it was time to accept defeat.
The easiest thing would have been to quit on each other. To let the stress, the medical bills, the emotional exhaustion, and the different ways we processed grief drive us apart. Many couples don't survive this journey.
But there was one word from my martial arts training that kept echoing in my mind: persevere.
The Principle: Perseverance Over Power
In Tae Kwon Do, you learn quickly that the person who wins isn't always the strongest or fastest. Often, it's the person who refuses to quit when everything in their body is screaming to stop.
My instructor used to say: "Anyone can fight when they're fresh. Champions fight when they're broken."
As someone who has completed 10 Spartan races including a 50K ultra, I know that mile 30 of an endurance race isn't won with your legs—it's won with your decision to keep moving when stopping feels logical.
The Application: When Easy Becomes Enemy
During our infertility struggle, quitting would have been easy. Logical, even. We could have avoided the emotional roller coaster, the financial strain, the monthly heartbreak.
But I remembered what perseverance really means: It's not about having the strength to continue—it's about continuing when you don't have the strength.
So we made a choice. Instead of asking "How long can we keep doing this?" we asked "What would we regret more—trying one more time or giving up right before breakthrough?"
That question reframed everything. We weren't failing every month—we were persevering every month.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." - James 1:2-3
The Test: When Everything Hits at Once
Eventually, our infertility journey ended with my wife needing a total hysterectomy due to endometriosis complications. The dream of biological children was over.
But by then, we had built something stronger than shared dreams—we had built shared perseverance.
When my wife's cancer diagnosis came in 2024, followed by my job loss and 10 months without income, we didn't have to learn how to stick together through crisis. We already knew how.
When we accumulated $60,000 in debt and I wanted to panic about our future, my wife reminded me of our decade-long lesson: "We don't quit on each other. We persevere through this too."
The Strategy: The Perseverance Framework
Here's what 10 years of infertility and every crisis since taught us about staying power:
Step 1: Redefine the Battle
- The goal isn't to avoid pain—it's to not quit in the pain
- Success is measured by showing up, not by immediate outcomes
- Perseverance is its own victory, regardless of results
Step 2: Focus on the Next Step Only
- Don't ask "How long can we do this?"—ask "Can we do this one more month/day/hour?"
- Marathon endurance is built one mile at a time
- Perseverance is a daily choice, not a one-time decision
Step 3: Find Meaning in the Struggle
- Ask "What is this struggle building in us that we couldn't get any other way?"
- Our infertility taught us empathy, teamwork, and unshakeable commitment
- Every persevered challenge makes you stronger for the next one
The Truth About Perseverance
As the author of "Mindset Metamorphosis" (written during my wife's cancer treatment), I can tell you that perseverance isn't glamorous. It doesn't feel heroic in the moment. It often feels like the hardest, least logical choice.
But here's what I've learned through 34 years of martial arts training and walking through life's toughest seasons: Perseverance is the difference between a story of defeat and a story of triumph.
Not because it guarantees the outcome you want, but because it guarantees you become the person who can handle whatever outcome you get.
Your Perseverance Challenge
What struggle are you facing right now where quitting feels logical? A difficult relationship, persistent health issue, financial pressure, or broken dream?
This week, stop asking "How long can I keep doing this?" and start asking "What would I regret more—trying one more time or giving up right before breakthrough?"
Then choose perseverance for just one more day. Then another. Then another.
What's one area where you need to choose perseverance over quitting? Reply and tell me—sometimes we need someone else to remind us that we're stronger than we think.
Remember: Feed your mind. Fuel your actions. Find your fire.
When you're ready, here's how I can help:
Purchase my book Mindset Metamorphosis
DK Kang, Author
dkkang.com
dk@dkkang.com
P.S. We never had biological children, but we built something better—an unbreakable partnership that can weather any storm. That's the unexpected gift of perseverance.
