Grit, Gratitude, & Grace Newsletter

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Reader

Let me tell you about the moment I realized I had been sabotaging my own growth for 20+ years.

It was March 2024. I was sitting in another job interview, feeling completely inadequate. The interviewer asked about my experience with a specific software system.

My instinct: "I don't know how to use that."

But then I caught myself. And I said something different:

"I don't know how to use that... yet. But I'm a fast learner, and I'm excited to develop that skill."

That one word—yet—changed the entire conversation. More importantly, it changed how I saw myself.

The invisible prison of "I can't"

For most of my life, I operated with what psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck calls a "fixed mindset."

Fixed mindset says: Your abilities are set in stone. You either have talent or you don't. Intelligence is fixed. Skills are predetermined.

When you have a fixed mindset, every challenge becomes a threat. Every failure becomes evidence of your inadequacy. Every setback proves what you already feared: you're not enough.

I didn't realize this about myself until crisis forced me to confront it.

When Florena was diagnosed with cancer, my fixed mindset whispered: "You can't handle this. You're not strong enough."

When I lost my job, it said: "See? You're not good enough. This proves it."

When bills piled up and I couldn't find work immediately, it screamed: "You're failing. You'll never figure this out."

That mindset was killing me—slowly, silently, convincingly.

The power of "yet"

Then something shifted. Maybe it was desperation. Maybe it was grace. Maybe it was both.

I started adding one word to every limiting thought:

"I can't handle this... yet." "I don't know how to do this... yet." "I'm not strong enough... yet."

That's a growth mindset. It believes that abilities can be developed. Intelligence can be grown. Skills can be learned.

This isn't just positive thinking. It's neuroscience.

Your brain has neuroplasticity—the ability to form new neural connections throughout your life. Every time you learn something new, your brain literally changes. Every time you practice a skill, you strengthen the pathways that support it.

But here's the key: This only happens when you believe growth is possible.

If you believe you're fixed, your brain doesn't try to adapt. If you believe you can grow, your brain actively rewires itself to support that growth.

Your framework for developing a growth mindset

Step 1: Catch your fixed mindset triggers. Notice when you say: "I can't," "I'm not good at," "I'll never be able to." Write them down. Awareness is the first step.

Step 2: Add "yet" to everything. Literally. "I can't do this... yet." "I'm not good at this... yet." That one word opens the door to possibility.

Step 3: Reframe failure as data. Stop seeing failure as proof of inadequacy. Start seeing it as information. What can you learn? What would you do differently? Failure isn't the end—it's feedback.

Step 4: Focus on process, not just outcomes. Instead of "I need to be great at this," try "I'm committed to getting better at this." Celebrate effort and progress, not just results.

Step 5: Surround yourself with growth-minded people. Find people who see challenges as opportunities. Who celebrate learning over perfection. Who say "not yet" instead of "I can't."

The transformation I never expected

Here's what happened when I shifted to a growth mindset during the worst season of my life:

I didn't just survive. I learned. I grew. I became stronger than I was before.

I learned skills I never thought I could master. I developed capacities I didn't know I had. I wrote a book I never imagined writing.

Not because I suddenly became talented or gifted. But because I stopped believing my abilities were fixed.

I started believing in "yet."

Your challenge this week

For the next seven days, every time you catch yourself saying "I can't" or "I'm not good at this," add the word "yet."

Write it down. Say it out loud. Let that one word crack open the door to possibility.

Because here's the truth: You're not stuck. You're not limited. You're not defined by your current abilities.

You're simply not there... yet.

And "yet" is where all transformation begins.

WHEN YOU'RE READY

Here's how I can help you:

The complete framework for shifting from a fixed to growth mindset—including the neuroscience, practical exercises, and real-life applications—is in "Mindset Metamorphosis: A practical and transformative guide in mastering your mind for growth and success."

Chapter 1 breaks down Dr. Carol Dweck's research and shows you exactly how to rewire your brain for growth, even in the middle of adversity.

If you're ready to stop being limited by "I can't" and start living in the possibility of "yet," this book will show you how.

Remember: Feed your mind. Fuel your actions. Find your fire.

DK Kang

Author | Wellness Advocate | Plant-Based Athlete | LMT

dk@dkkang.com

www.dkkang.com​