What I learned when a 30-something adult knocked out a 13-year-old me

Reader

Have you ever been blindsided by something so unfair that it left you questioning everything? If you're someone who's worked hard, played by the rules, yet still gotten knocked down by life's unexpected punches—job loss, health scares, betrayal—this story will show you how to get back up stronger than before.

At 13 years old, I learned the hardest lesson of my martial arts journey in the most humiliating way possible.

The Setup: When Everything Seemed Perfect

I was 13, training in our adult Tae Kwon Do class, and my 16-year-old brother was teaching that day. There was a visiting 2nd degree black belt from another school—let's call him Joe. He was in his thirties, about 6'2" and 180 pounds of solid muscle.

My brother decided it would be "educational" for Joe and me to spar in front of the entire class.

As we began, I was actually doing well. I landed 3 or 4 clean body shots on Joe, using my speed and technique to overcome his size advantage. I could see the frustration building in his eyes as this small teenager was outmaneuvering him.

Then I saw an opening—a chance for a head kick. Since I couldn't reach his head from the ground, I jumped up to execute the technique.

The Knockout: When Life Hits Unfairly

Joe didn't want to get kicked in the head by a kid. So instead of blocking or stepping back like we were trained to do, he decided to punch me as hard as he could in the face.

The sparring match lasted maybe 30 seconds. I was unconscious for several minutes.

According to my brother, I woke up confused and disoriented, not remembering where I was or what had happened. The entire class had witnessed a grown man knock out a 13-year-old because his ego couldn't handle being outplayed.

The Choice: Run Away or Face Forward

In that moment, lying on the mat with everyone staring, I had two choices: quit martial arts forever because it was "unfair," or use this as fuel to become stronger.

I chose to get back up.

Not because I was naturally tough or fearless, but because my instructor had drilled one principle into me from age 5: "It's not about avoiding the punch; it's about how you respond when it lands."

The Strategy: The Unfair Punch Response System

Through 34 years of martial arts training and walking through life's real battles—my wife's cancer diagnosis, job loss, $60,000 in debt—I've refined this approach to handling life's unfair punches:

Step 1: Acknowledge the Knockout

• Don't minimize what happened or pretend it didn't hurt
• That was a real punch, and you're really down
• Denying the impact only prolongs the recovery

Step 2: Assess Your Condition

• What's actually damaged versus what just stings?
• Most knockouts look worse than they are
• You're still breathing, which means you can still fight

Step 3: Choose Your Response

• Ask: "What would a champion do after getting knocked down unfairly?"
• Champions don't waste energy complaining about unfair opponents
• They focus on what they can control: their next move

Step 4: Get Back to Training

• The best response to getting knocked out is getting better
• Use the anger as fuel, not poison
• Every knockdown teaches you something about your defense

The Transformation: From Victim to Victor

That humiliating experience taught me that life will hit you unfairly sometimes. People will break the rules. Adults will act like children. Good intentions will be met with bad faith.

But here's what I know now that I didn't know at 13: unfair punches don't define you—your response to them does.

As the author of "Mindset Metamorphosis" (written during my wife's cancer treatment) and someone who has completed 10 Spartan races including a 50K ultra, I can tell you that the same principle applies to every area of life. Getting knocked down isn't the problem—staying down is.

When I was laid off a week after my wife's cancer diagnosis, I remembered that 13-year-old on the mat. When we accumulated $60,000 in debt with no income for 10 months, I remembered the choice: stay down or get back up.

Your Next Move

Right now, you might be dealing with your own "unfair punch"—someone who didn't follow the rules, a situation that blindsided you, a challenge that feels impossibly overwhelming.

Here's what you need to know: the punch doesn't have to be fair for your response to be powerful.

This week, ask yourself: "What would a champion do in my situation?" Then do that thing, even if you're still dizzy from the hit.

What's one unfair punch you're facing right now, and what's one small way you're going to respond with strength this week? Reply and let me know—I read every response and your story might inspire next week's newsletter.

When you're ready, here's how I can help you:

​You can purchase my book Mindset Metamorphosis​

Remember: Feed your mind. Fuel your actions. Find your fire.

P.S. Joe never came back to our school after that. Champions don't need to knock out kids to prove their strength—they prove it by how they build others up.